So our first real “fake” personal ad was so utterly ridiculous I’m not really sure how or why we came up with the idea. It makes exactly zero sense and again is another example of piss poor writing and execution but we did it and actually got some responses. Now Mike has never smoked pot or done any hard drugs and rarely drinks, and I have in my day dabbled in damn near every mind altering substance short of heroine, meth and shit like that. So this idea I think was partially inspired by Dog The Bounty Hunter he is always about finding the good in people and showing them they can change their lives and we both love how AMAZING and WHITE TRASH Dog is so I think that helped us with this ad.
Looking for Sober Dimes
How are the ladies of Portland, Oregon doing today? Anyways I’m looking for a special woman that enjoys life. I’m looking for someone that is special and wants to show someone new things that this wonderful state has to offer. A little bit about myself I’m 22 and a recovering meth addict. I hope you don’t have a problem with that I love to go out and drink and hang out with my people. I currently don’t drive because of my drug abuse, I do have a job that I love and I’m currently going to school to become a drug and alcohol counselor. Anyways I’m just putting myself out there because I need to rehabilitate myself with fresh new people that can show me new and exciting things. I hope to hear from you soon.
Thank you for your time
As you can see the ad didn’t make any sense at all. Why in the hell would a recovering meth addict go out and get fucked up and all the while be going to school to become a drug counselor? He also sounds like a complete douche bag. (I like hanging with my people, WTF) But that didn’t deter Craigslist’s finest from responding.
One of the responses was from this chick, Julie; she said she was 31 and also in recovery. She told us that she had used meth for about 18 months and was clean for 3 months. She said she was still struggling with her addictive personality and was looking for sober people to help her fill that void. She told us she attended N.A. meetings twice a day and she drank between 8-10 cups of black coffee a day. We were fucking shocked. This lady was crazy!! She went on to tell us all about her past drug use and how she lost her kids when she was sent to jail for 7 months. She told us she lived in a halfway house and loved getting tattoos. This lady was nuts, we decided not to mess with her and just move on to the next responder.
Another response we got was from this woman who thought that she was as holy as Jesus’ bowel movements. She told us it was completely inappropriate for someone in recovery to go out and get drunk. How we were horrible for thinking we could go out and not get mixed up in the drug scene again. Also that if we really wanted to be a recovery counselor that we should of known how wrong we were for doing all these things. This bitch totally got under our skin and she paid. A excerpt of what we sent her “excuse me bitch, who the fuck do you think you are, telling me that I am not capable of continuing my recovery while I have a few drinks when I go out? All I was looking for was someone who was going through the same things I’m going through and be able to support each other. I wasn’t looking for some goddy bitch who thinks they know what’s best for a complete stranger to sit here and tell me I’m in the wrong for enjoying my life. I would very much like to ask you to fuck off and die.” Needless to say, we never heard from that lady again. It just shows you that you have no idea what kind of people are on Craigslist, and what their motives are. It did show us how fun it is to mess with complete strangers though. We can learn a person’s inner most secrets or find how they think they are high and mighty just by reading an email. Craigslist, I love you, you will bring me so many hours of enjoyment, at complete strangers expense.